politi-couture
Seen here in a natural foods store (is organic meth legal over there?), Winehouse has recently announced that she will be teaming up British designer Fred Perry to create a new line of clothing. Even half human/half droid (and 100% awesome) Karl Lagerfeld likes it, alledgedly.
Her clothing line, which carries a ’50s aesthetic and retails around £22 and £100, features a color palette of girly pink and edgy black. At least now she’ll look good when she goes to rehab next week.
A good way to waste time on a Friday while still learning something: Completely and unabashedly yanked from The Daily Mail, here’s a rundown of how to judge a person by his/her nose (beyond how good the plastic surgeon is). Note the “Nubian” nose attributed to our current president, which conveys charisma and charm, while Margaret Thatcher’s “Greek” nose is characteristic of efficient hard workers.
What it looks like: Imagine the shape of the ski jump at the Winter Olympics — it’s a long, curved, almost-concave slope with a slight upward peak at the tip.
What it says about you: cutesy uppy-nose types are often kind, optimistic and nurturing in personality with bags of enthusiasm, a strong sense of support for friends and family. Oh, and a sexually adventurous side too.
Who has one? Actresses Nicole Kidman and Marilyn Monroe; former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham.
What it looks like: This nose has a small bump protruding out, about halfway down the ridge. It points downwards at the tip, but not quite as much as the hawkshaped nose.
What it says about you: This signals a strong personality — but not always an impulsive one. They are very good at rallying people to take action, often very influential and carefully measured.
Who has one? Bono (of U2), French president Nicolas Sarkozy, singer Barry Manilow.
What it looks like: A long, straight and rather strong nose shape. If you look at the angle between the nose tip and the groove above your top lip, it should be about 80 degrees, almost a right angle.
What it says about you: These are grafters, efficient, hard-working, matter-of-fact sorts of people who keep their emotions close to their chests and can be difficult to fathom. You’ll want to be around them in a crisis.
Who has one? Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher, Michelangelo’s David statue.
What it looks like: This type of nose has a deep hook at the tip, pointing downwards towards your lip. The shape of the ridge is often curved.
What it says about you: Out of the six types of nose personality, these are least likely to care what others think of them. They don’t seek approval, are often rebellious and are most happy when pursuing their own goals.
Who has one? Socialite Paris Hilton, chef Antony Worrall Thompson, poet Dante Alighieri.
What it looks like: This is a short, small nose that doesn’t usually protrude to any great extent in any particular direction.
What it says about you: People with this type of nose are often quick-witted and more street-wise than your average person. They react quickly — sometimes too quickly, which can sometimes lead to aggression.
Who has one? Pop singer Lily Allen, Girls Aloud and X Factor star Cheryl Cole, and Pirates of the Caribbean actor Johnny Depp.
What it looks like: Short and wide, not as protruding as the other shapes and quite an uncommon shape among European noses. It’s common among certain ethnic groups.
What it says about you: This nose type is said to reflect creativity and passion. Its wearers are often charismatic,which draws people to them.
Who has one? Actor Will Smith, model Naomi Campbell, Barack Obama.
Fed up with his unsuccessful scarecrows thus far, a Surrey farmer has dressed his up in Lady Gaga-inspired clothing. Nigel Britten, the farmer who is using the LG scarecrow, was struck by the idea after seasons of unsuccessful scarecrow usage. His fiancee commented on Gaga’s rather terrifying look at the Brit Awards, and now he’s having fewer and fewer problems everyday.
Kay Burley, who is apparently a bobble head for Sky News in the UK, made a rather embarrassing remark on air after Joe Biden appeared with his Ash Wednesday cross on his forehead. The clueless Brit quipped that Biden seemed to have a large bruise. When informed of her error, Burley replied, “I’ve said three Hail Marys; everything is going to be fine.”
Burley also spoke sensitively on September 11th: “If you’re just joining us, the entire eastern seaboard of the United States has been decimated by a terrorist attack.”
She should audition for CNN. I hear they aren’t doing too well.
The creative genius and designer of seriously experimental clothing known as Alexander McQueen was found dead in his London flat yesterday. He was 40.
McQueen hanged himself and was known to be extremely distraught after the death of his mother weeks ago, in addition to the suicide of close friend Isabella Blow a few year earlier.
McQueen had several stores across the globe, and was known for his innovative and cutting edge fashions that were as wonderful as costumes as they were haute couture.
Ever since the Christmas tighty-whiteys bomber, airports have been using more probing scanning machines to try to detect concealed items.
Problem is, the full body scanners in use at British airports are in violation of child pornography laws. Privacy campaigners, who apparently don’t want to catch terrorists, say the images detected by the machines are so graphic that they are tantamount to “strip searching.”
Ministers are now being forced to exempt minors from the machines, which is a great idea since the recent American expatriates linked to Al-Qaeda from the DMV area were all just around college age. What is likely to result is the inevitable terrorist attempts will now be carried out by younger and younger “extremists.”
Perhaps we just shouldn’t employ voyeurs with the TSA? Just a thought.
Of course, she still looks terrifying, but at least she isn’t dancing around in hot pants or wearing some sort of tribal headpiece. This time.
Daniel Radcliffe, the homoquestionable stud of the Harry Potter movie series and famed for his naked love connection to horses in Equus, has been fielding questions about a photograph that apparently features him smoking marijuana. This accusation could put him in hot water with his tween audience, which reveres Radcliffe as the wholesome, evil-fighting wizard of the movie screen. Those tweens may also be disappointed to discover that Radcliffe doesn’t actually successfully cast spells, or jam out on the quidditch field.
The accusation comes a few months after another Harry Potter actor, Jamie Waylett, who plays Victor Crabbe, confessed to growing cannibis plants–ten of them!–in his home.
Recent research conducted in the Loch Ness does not bode well for golf fiend Obama and his leisure-loving administration. Research teams with the Danish Golf Union discovered that golf balls take anywhere between 100 and 1000 years to decompose naturally, which is a little scary given that approximately 300 million balls are lost/discarded in the US alone per year.
Scientists found that golf balls release high amounts of heavy metals during decomposition, distributing dangerous levels of zinc in the synthetic rubber filling of solid core golf balls. When the zinc hit water, such as any one of hundreds of thousands at the bottom of Loch Ness, it attached to ground sediment and poisoned the surrounding nature life.
Course manager of the Danish Golf Union said, “We are planning to collaborate with environmentalists in America to conduct more tests to fully explore the extent of the problem.”
Obama is planning on discussing this matter over golf.
Tim Nicholson, a self-proclaimed “green martyr” from across the pond, has just won some serious street cred among the environmentalist crowd. After claiming he was fired for expressing his die-hard eco0friendly views, a judge ruled in favor of Nicholson, charging that bosses should have respected his environmental beliefs the same as they would respect a religious belief (?!).
Public Affairs for Grainger, the company for which Nicholson worked, released the following statement, “Mr Nicholson’s redundancy was driven solely by the operational needs of the company during a period of extraordinary market turbulence, which also required other structural changes to be made within the company.”
Justice Burton, who handed down this borderline sacrilegious/clearly ridiculous judgment, should obviously not have been taken seriously; he can’t even wear his weave correctly.
I wonder how Nicholson is dealing emotionally with the superfluous tree-decimating paperwork and the use of carbon footprint-enlarging technology to disseminate info about his green victory. Doesn’t seem incongruous with his beliefs at all!
