It’s not even worth detailing this ridiculous story, but if you want the whole lurid thing, here’s a detailed explanation of Baucus’ outrageously ethical and upstanding behavior from Politico. In case you’re too hungover to read a real news piece, however, just realize exactly where your stimulus dollars are going. You may have noticed that the unemployment rate is also still on the rise. That’s definitely “change you can believe in” (PS: YOU SHOULD NOT END A SENTENCE/POLITICAL SLOGAN IN A PREPOSITION. I AM ADDING THIS PARENTHETICAL TO BE SYNTACICALLY SOUND. JEEZ, OBAMA).