So, let’s play a game. Anyone else think Miley Cyrus here looks like a Picasso painting? Something is seriously wonky with her face’s plane of symmetry.
In the vein of true journalism, as seen in the now-famous leprechaun YouTube video, here’s another little gem from a local news station delivering hard-hitting reality about a Miley Cyrus doll singing “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” Problem is, the tween sensation’s signature throaty voice makes the line “later we’ll have some pumpkin pie” sound like “later we’ll have some f*ckin pie.” Happy Holidays!
I’m not sure what kind of publicity stunt this is, but here’s a statutory-primed combo of ideals: Disney, Sex and the City, a goth spiked choker necklace, couture, and philanthropies. Miley will apparently be doing a scene for the second movie, which has been filming for several months.
I am also confused by the mountain boots, Kim Cattrall’s age, and why Swarovski allowed this event to happen, but I guess I’ll just have to wait for the second movie to come. I’ll even buy Miley the tickets, since she’s definitely way too young to buy R-rated movie passes. Can’t wait to see her scene juxtaposed next to Miranda’s nipples and Carrie’s meltdown over Big leaving her for a Russian import or something.
In a surprisingly intelligent move, tween heartthrob Miley Cyrus closed her Twitter account. She chose to make her exeunt with a YouTube rap song, which has all the trappings of your standard low-budget YouTube home video and even some catchy lyrics:
“The reasons are simple: I started tweeting about pimples/ I stopped living for moments and started living for people”
and
“Everything that I type and everything that I do/ all those lame gossip sites take it and make it news.”
Her dad Billy Ray Cyrus was unhappy with Miley’s non-publicitycentric move, and himself tweeted: “You can’t leave everyone now.We r countin on u.”
It’s the eternal conflict of interests: a teenager just wants some privacy, while her money hungry parents are happy to have her expose herself to the world without spelling out monosyllabic words. Oh, the plight of the American teenager.
Party in the US Supreme Court? The Hannah Montanna star took to her Twitter (shudder) to write:
Doing homework. Learning about justice. Shoot. Maybe I will be a lawer.
Sadly, Miley deleted this post, probably out of embarrassment because pseud0-sexual Disney stars never have that killer lawyer instinct. Fortunately, tons of crazy tweens return tweeted this little gem, forever preserving everybody’s favorite Asian culture-hating teen star’s aspirations to one day legislate us to wear ripped denim and chain smoke at the age of 12. Now there’s a lawyer I can support.
