Obama’s doctors advise on smoking, drinking

I’m not sure how this fits in Michelle’s “healthy living” campaign, but the physicians to the Prez have recommended he “continue” his smoking cessation efforts (ongoing for how many decades now?) and keep alcohol intake to a moderate level.

Obama’s cholesterol levels are at the high end of normal, and recommended that next time he shoves his foot in his mouth, to opt for a calorie-conscious “sparkling water summit” rather than a beer summit.

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Pelosi: “A bill can be bipartisan without bipartisan votes”

Perhaps the Botox has gone to her head. After the Obamacare discussion, which saw President Obama holding court and throwing rules out the window because he’s the President, Pelosi confidently stated that healthcare would indeed be shoved through under the misnomer “reconcilliation.”

“They’ve had a field day going out and misrepresenting what the bill says..but that’s what they do,” she added.

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Obama is above the law

Forget “balance of power” and all those old-fashioned tenets of democracy. The Chosen One doesn’t have time limits.

“I don’t count my time because I’m the President.”
Additionally, democrats spoke for 233 minutes, while “The Party of No” only got to represent 75% of all Americans’ disdain for government-run healthcare for 114 minutes. Seems fair.

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New Missile Defense Agency logo: Obama + Islam

Is this the love child of Obama’s Communist logo and the most identifiable image of “the religion of peace?” Real threatening.

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Obama acts “stupidly,” avoids press for 215 days

Obama has finally beaten Bush’s record. The current prez has gone 215 days without holding a formal press conference, beating Bush’s record by one day. And it doesn’t seem to stop there. Obama has no intentions to have formal and public press conferences anytime soon, despite running on platforms to be the most transparent president ever.

The last time BO had a press conference, it ended disastrously when he idiotically called out a white cop for “acting stupidly” when following protocol resulted in a black man being arrested. Obama has since moved into closed doors discussions to avoid such public embarrassment.

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UAH professor-murderer “obsessed” with Obama

Professor Amy Bishop, charged with capital murder in the deaths of three faculty members at the University of Alabama in Huntsville on Friday. Photo: AP

Amy Bishop, the woman accused of going on a killing spree by opening fire on six of her colleagues and killing three, has been investigated for clues leading up to the tragic incident. Upon interrorgations, it has been determined that Bishop is a socially awkward oddball, bitter at her tenure denial at the University of Alabama-Huntsville.

One thing about which we haven’t heard much? Bishop’s extreme left-wing politics, which, according to colleagues’ interviews, were at times so dramatic they were “off-putting.” Bishop was described as being “obsessed” with President Obama.

Now, a murderer is a murderer, regardless of political inclinations. However, where was the media attention on this fact, when it so dutifully concluded that the Holocaust Museum murderer, who was a white supremacist, was obviously “conservative?” Reporting is a two-way street. Or at least, it used to be.

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XOXO, GOP

Barack Obama is featured in a GOP Valentine.

In order to keep the momentum going during the midterm year of 2010, the GOP has released a few snarky Valentine’s Day cards. These holiday greetings feature Dem hotties like Pelosi, Reid, Dodd, Al Gore, Napolitano, ACORN, and even the Salahis.

Also written in the card? “Pass along a special message from Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi that they didn’t craft this Valentine’s card behind closed doors like they did with their government-run health care experiment.”

Joe Biden and the Salahis are featured in a Valentine card.

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Obama continues winning streak by predicting Colts as Super Bowl winners

We can now add Indianapolis’ team to the long list of things Obama has supported that have failed miserably: health care, Chicago Olympics, Creigh Deeds, Jon Corzine, Martha Coakley, et al.

Obama told a pre-game interviewer: “I think the Colts probably have to be favorite, mainly because they have got perhaps the best quarterback in history — Peyton Manning is unbelievable.”

The president did add that he had a “soft spot” for the Saints, however, so as to continue his legacy of being wishy washy and offering all things to all people.

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“My Obama Shop” closes

The eerily sycophantic pop-up shop in Union Station known as “My Obama Shop” seems to be out of business.

The store, which sold shirts emblazoned with sweet nothings like “presidential romance” and Jesus-like engravings of Obama seems to be all dark inside.

Is this just the beginning of Obama’s crusade against small businesses?

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“Obama Girl” rebounding after disappointment with President

Amber Lee Ettinger, aka “Obama Girl” who sang her way to fame via the YouTube video “I Got a Crush on Obama,” is kinda over it. When speaking to Sean Hannity of Fox News, Ettinger said she no longer has that crush, but astutely added, “at least I wasn’t the ‘Edwards Girl.”

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