The Drug Enforcement Agency (Atlanta region) is looking for nine special people who can translate ebonics into English. An agency official claims that there is nothing “racial” about the job. Really??! For those who may be unfamiliar with “Ebonics,” it was originally used to describe the language of individuals descended from Black African slaves, and has since been referred to as “African American Vernacular English.” So, yeah, I would say race does play a part in this. Following the 1996 Oakland California school board case, in which they claimed “black English” was a separate language, there has been much debate over whether it actually is a language or dialect. Some have even claimed that Ebonics is “failure to grasp the English language.”

In any case, an agency official says that Eminem is, “one of the best speakers of Ebonics there ever was.” He goes on to say, “There are words that people use that I never used. It’s a dialect that certain people use, and we see a need for it.” Hopefully they can find some individuals who can crack this tricky dialect. 

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who, I’m pretty sure partially raised me, given that my mom blasted her on the house intercom every morning in the summertime during my childhood years, has stepped down from her position as radio host after she suffered backlash from using the “N word” while addressing a caller’s concerns about…the N word.

From CNN:

National furor erupted when Schlessinger used the N-word 11 times in five minutes during a call August 10 with an African-American caller who was seeking advice on how to deal with racist comments from her white husband’s friends and relatives. The conversation evolved into a discussion on whether it’s appropriate to use the word ever, with Schlessinger arguing it’s used on HBO and by black comedians.

I’m just wondering why pretty much any ethnicity BESIDES white people can use this word. Even Jennifer Lopez uses it, and no one points out that she is a New Yorican who has only been successful because she has basically bleached, whitened, and pilates-ed out every aspect of her Hispanicness. They just pretend that since she did a duet with Ja Rule, she use racial slurs.

During a campaign event in Las Vegas on Tuesday, Senate Majority leader Larry Reid said, “I don’t know how anyone of Hispanic heritage could be a republican, okay? Do I need to say more?” Really?!

The National Republican Senatorial Committee issued the following response to Reid’s ridiculousness, “It’s no secret that Harry Reid is a desperate politician who is under fire for his reckless spending and failed economic record, but these outrageous statements represent race baiting at its very worst.” As of lately, Reid has been blasting the Republicans for their attempts at immigration reform (hey, maybe he likes paying the $113 billion that illegal immigrants cost us each year) and is in a close race with Nevada Republican senate nominee, Sharron Angle, who supports Arizona’s immigration law.

Additionally, Mario Lopez, president of the Hispanic Leadership Fund rightly agrees that it’s none of Harry Reid’s business to assume people’s party preferences. He tells the Daily Caller, “It’s the height of arrogance for Harry Reid to anoint himself as some sort of authority on what it means to be Hispanic,” Lopez said.

Personally, I don’t know how anyone could support such absurd economic spending policies or make such scowling faces.

From POLITICO:

“The politically charged decisions by veteran Democratic Reps. Charles Rangel of New York and Maxine Waters of California to force public trials by the House ethics committee are raising questions about race and whether black lawmakers face more scrutiny over allegations of ethical or criminal wrongdoing than their white colleagues.

The controversy over the cases and the prospect of the first simultaneous ethics trials for multiple members in more than 30 years mark the biggest challenge for the ethics committee’s and the House’s ability to police its own members since the mid-1990s, when then-Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) and other leaders from both parties found themselves hauled before the secretive panel.

The question of whether black lawmakers are now being singled out for scrutiny has been simmering throughout the 111th Congress, with the Office of Congressional Ethics a focal point of the concerns. At one point earlier this year, all eight lawmakers under formal investigation by the House ethics committee, including Rangel and Waters, were black Democrats. All those investigations originated with the OCE, which can make recommendations — but take no final actions — on such cases.”

Um, “singled out?!” So the fact that there are blatant violations is not as important as the fact that these people are black Democrats and therefore untouchable according to affirmative action and mass media. Sensible.

Since an organization that has within its bylaws specific limitations on allowing fully white men and women into it is definitely not racist, the NAACP will be voting on a resolution to official call out those of the Tea Party Movement “racist.” This is a good use of time and resources.

From FoxNEWS:

Nation’s leading civil rights group is poised to decide on a resolution to condemn the Tea Party movement as racist, despite claims from Tea Partiers that the measure is just a political ploy.

A succinctly written open letter by @majorphilebrity, a talented black Athens, Georgia socialite who hates self-enforced stereotypes. Via Dear Celebrity BET:

Dear BET,

In eve of your upcoming 10th award show, I thought it would be a perfect time to outline all of my problems with you. It seems once a year that “successful” black people gather together in a 3 hour live massacre of the last shreds of dignity black people have in the mainstream media; by showing that we indeed are a bunch wild thing-a-ma*iggers no matter what our net worth. How such public genocide has gone unpunished is shocking. To call it an award show is laughable, but I guess “parade of the wealthy little black sambos” wouldn’t go over too well with the networks. There are a few key mistakes that are made every year that I would like to address first and foremost because I don’t have time to address them all without getting carpal tunnel.

1. Stop insulting gays, it happens oftens and most recently last year when the presenter said “ladies and ladies ONLY please make noise for Maxwell”. Do you think his voice got that high from smoking weed?? sorry, he’s a catcher. Also Queen Latifah and Alicia Keys are shining beacons of hope for our community and MEGA lesbians so “let them eat cake.”

2. STOP giving awards to Beyonce. She clearly HATES them. Last year her speech sounded less enthusiastic and excited than Mary Kate Olsen does ordering at a drive thru window. I honestly don’t blame her though. I bet it’s hard for her to fake appreciation with the deadly smell of spam sandwiches, old spice aftershave and Hennessy burning her nostrils. I wonder how many hotel maids are proud owners of Beyonce’s “lost” BET awards? Hmmm anyway

3. Stop picking the most vulgar rap artists to perform!!! It’s already bad enough that we have to endure Fantasia’s embarrassment in front of a TelePrompTer, but it doesn’t help the case that each rap performance sounds like a song produced by Stephen Hawkings voice machine.

4. Have a REHEARSAL!! Every year people walk out on that stage like they don’t even know they were supposed to be there. It’s a f-cking disaster. I think Gabby Sidibe looks more organized trying to soap between her “shoulder blades?”

5. GET A DRESS CODE!!!! I know implementing such a rule would automatically take Keri Hilson off the invite list, but who cares? Let her stand alone outside in the puddle of her own piss and mediocrity…it’s where she belongs. But honestly, when people show up to your award show with ashy elbows, white Tees, and KFC double downs on the red carpet…I think it’s safe to say the show loses some of it’s credibility.

I really think this list of grievances is short and reasonable. I don’t think Harry Potter could wave his wand hard enough to make this show a success, but if you at least follow these few guidelines I might be able to make it halfway through without the taste of Franks hot sauce and a craving for Pork n’ Beans taking over my mouth.

Sincerely,

Phillip
@majorphilebrity

I graduated college ’09 and within one year we have a student from my alma mater spotlighted on CNN and now Kappa Alpha Order is banning confederate flag iconography despite its historical roots in such imagery.

Yahoo! reports:

“BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – A college fraternity inspired by Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee has banned members around the country from wearing Confederate uniforms to “Old South” parties and parades after years of complaints that the tradition was racially insensitive.

The Virginia-based Kappa Alpha Order issued new rules to chapters earlier this year saying members aren’t allowed to wear Rebel uniforms to parties or during their parades, which are a staple on campuses across the South.

The decision, announced in an internal memo posted on the group’s website, followed a flap last year at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, where a black sorority complained after a KA parade stopped in front of its house on campus. KA members were dressed in the gray uniforms of Confederate officers, and young women wore hoop skirts.”

Shocker. The WSJ writes:

“The Obama administration has asked a federal appeals court to uphold a race-conscious admissions system at the University of Texas at Austin, aiming to stymie a lawsuit that conservatives hope will spur the Supreme Court to limit affirmative action at public colleges.”

On the plus side, at least you can’t blame the Obama Administration for being hypocritical in this aspect. We wouldn’t want minorities to earn admission based on any actual merit; that wouldn’t have worked out well for the White House. Honorable!

So is anything real about these people besides their love for the tanning bed and flashing their snatches whenever possible? Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenny “JWOWW” Farley are actually pretty far from Italian. The diminutive self-proclaimed “guidette” Snooki is actually Chilean, while skunk stripes McGee JWOWW is Spanish and Irish.

On the plus side, we can start respecting Italians once again. At least the women.

According to the Wall Street Journal, man cleavage, otherwise known as heavage, is so hot right now. Throwback to the disco era, or cultural revolution? The man chest look is touted to be to be inspired by “the unabashed machismo of Latin American men.”

The article sites actors including “True Blood” star Mehcad Brooks, who rocks the heavage look, in addition to “Gossip Girl” dandy Ed Westwick and Jude Law, as pioneers of this Latin-influenced look.

There’s a delicate balance to the hair-to-skin ratio, so men are taking to waxing to keep things looking smooth and manly(ish). Yum.