politi-couture for the urbane sophisticate
Someone authorized the cast of “Jersey Shore” to open the NYSE. In these challenging times, is that really the message we need to be sending–that orange flammable-haired ethnic mutts claiming to be pure-bred Italian with Tijuana-quality boob jobs who do midget cartwheels without wearing underwear are honorable enough to open the markets? Seems about right.
Since she believes people should just tan in peace, Snooki told Meghan McCain in an interview for Daily Beast that she in fact voted for the Arizona senator. She commented, “To be honest with you, I’m not really a Republican or a Democrat. I actually signed up as an independent, just because I don’t want to pick any side and also I don’t really know a lot about politics. I only know politics about, like, you know, tanning and being a Guidette. So when I saw it was Obama and McCain, to be honest with you, the only reason why I voted for your father was because he was really cute and I liked when he did his speeches.”
I think it’s adorable that registering to vote in Snooki’s world is “signing up,” like it’s some sort of cheerleading try out. Interesting that the over-baked fake Italian prefers the super white candidate to the partially black one. People never give reality stars enough credit these days.
The Tanning Tax has forced Snooki and her Jersey Shore frenemies to cut back on their UV tanning habit, but that doesn’t mean spray tanning is off limits. Snooki took to her Twitter to comment, in a perfect example of how MTV reality shows create self-absorbed oompa loompas:”I don’t go tanning-tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. … He did that because of us.”
McCain, who is fighting to stay friends with the GOP despite <3ing big govt and a bunch of other democratic party-associated crap, re-tweeted: “@Sn00ki u r right, I would never tax your tanning bed! Pres Obama’s tax/spend policy is quite The Situation. but I do rec wearing sunscreen!”
See what he did there? The use of one-letter words like “u” and “r” is definitely going to get at least three 18-year-olds to vote for him.
I’m not sure why anyone’s surprised, but Mike “The Situation” from “Jersey Shore” thinks he deserves an invitation to the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. Perhaps he’ll be recognized for all his hard-hitting journalism he’s produced on the President’s theories and actions. Or maybe a critique of Obama’s poorly waxed chest.
The tanorexic told POLITICO: “I heard that it’s just a day where pretty much some of the biggest celebrities of the year get to come and meet the president. My show is one of the biggest shows of the year — and me being the main character of my show, as well as being one of the breakout stars of the year …”
Personally I was hoping Snooki would cartwheel for Sasha and Malia, if only to demonstrate how to look classy while doing acrobatics with your snatch out for the world to see.
