Royal Condoms?

If you’re looking for a timeless souvenir to celebrate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, look  no further. Condom company, Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction, has released the following statement regarding their new product:

“Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir prophylactics are a unique way to remember this great British occasion. All at Crown Jewels have worked tirelessly to craft these heirloom quality love sheaths. In years to come, they will be a timeless memento of a magical wedding day.”

How do you work tirelessly to craft a ‘love sheath’? Aren’t they produced in some factory by a machine? They add that this product, “combine[s] the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-Be.” Yet another time when I kick myself for not thinking to market bogus things to dumb people for triple the value.

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