After seeing a relatively evenhanded rundown on about my viral blog post last week, I wrote a follow-up piece for the website to discuss the incredible aftermath:


I’m Quin, AKA the blogger who wrote that polemical break-up text post, unleashing a digital conflagration of fury from an army of Internet warriors, convinced I’d ruined some guy’s life.

Many publications ran libelous headlines to the contrary, so please indulge me in telling you: no, the sexts were never sent to the boss, the guy never lost his job, and the hyperbolic text response I bloviated back to him was nothing more than an empty, obviously exaggerated threat, dripping with satire and blogged about for levity.

He knew these things immediately upon reading the texts, and not for one second feared for the security of his job. He and I laugh about this now, the incommensurately visceral response so much of the public commented, tweeted, emailed, and otherwise reblogged.

The guy asked for exclusivity two days prior to that correspondence, by the way. That fact is largely edited out in mass journalism, because who wants a sane villain?

So let’s get to the heart of the matter.

I hate to tell you this, but, published or not: this is how women talk about you.  My post went viral, mostly via rancorous male commentary, because it struck a nerve.

Organized crime is scary. It isn’t something you expect from “ladylike” women. Nonetheless: we analyze your every move, wondering what that means for our relationship’s longevity. Your “how are you?” text after a year of silence? That gets a full hour. Indeed, a three hour, six-person roundtable brunch went into Googling “douchey WASP names” just to find the perfect pseudonym for my ex in my second memoir.  We are laborious, thoughtful creatures. What we aren’t? Flibbertigibbet emotional breakdowns who can’t handle the truth.

The post went viral because it’s a scenario every person who has ever dated has faced. I said something nearly all women have wanted to say at some point. They were just too scared of the vitriolic backlash—we fear being labeled “Crazy,” because, once assigned, that’s a pretty difficult moniker to lose. We are forever pigeonholed as emotionally unhinged, no matter how off base (or exploitative).

It’s in my nature to withstand strong criticism. My dad’s family duck’n’rolled out of communist China, and my mom is a scrappy Scots-Irish Army brat from the wrong side of the tracks. America is built on barrier-breakers. Uninformed groupthink and slander are strong, negative forces, but criticism is in my blood; constructive criticism, my backbone. If you’re a Libertarian living in DC right now, like I am, you have definitely dealt with worse.

So, was this “victimless crime” justly avenged? That would depend on what you consider fair. I’ve sparked an international dialogue about gender roles, etiquette, civility, cyber courtship, and racial stereotypes. All this, and I didn’t even have to twerk up against a married man or get peed on in an adult video.

In the “women” column, I count that as a win.



  1. I’ve sparked an international dialogue about gender roles, etiquette, civility, cyber courtship, and racial stereotypes.. err no you have sparked a dialogue about how deluded you are as evidenced by the shocking ‘books’ you have released. I feel sorry in that you lost credibility on an international scale. That is some achievement. On the upside the amazon book reviews are refreshingly honest and have provided amusement, the downside is that the chance of selling any in the future has been reduced to about 125. I suggest you retire from online presence before it spirals into complete disaster.

  2. Hey Quin, I was really surprised at the amount of hate and trash talk aimed at you and your particular blog post. Whether its due or not is really up to your individual readers, but I think its worth mentioning, that in reality, you’ve probably highlighted what crazy is…especially in our high tech world…and elicited such a response because you and your behaviors are so easy relatable. How many other girls or guys for that matter, do you know of, that have pulled some sort of “crazy ass shit” on the exes? I’m certain there’s at least one person that comes to mind. Truth be told, there’s at least one crazy person in everyone’s life or a moment where our own craziness had an opportunity to shine. So in other words…who gives a fuck about what other people think about you (especially online)…there’s probably not anyone out there that is commenting on your blog that doesn’t have a little crazy in them anyway (except for me…haha).

    – Ernie

    1. you are a loser Ernie… and crazy… get some help if you find yourself sympathizing with this self absorbed, narcissistic, self-entitled piece of foul piece of trash …

    2. Craziness with an ex is one thing. Trying to get a guy you’ve met twice fired from his job or at least threatening him with the prospect of doing so is a different thing altogether…

  3. Quin –

    If it smells like poop, and it looks like poop, it’s probably poop. I am a female and my female co-workers and I are a little obsessed with how crazy you are. By the way, no this is not how normal women talk about guys. We may talk about how good (or bad) guys are in the bedroom and dissect things that men do from time to time, but we are far from the crazy that you have displayed by posting your original blog post and by your reaction afterwards. Please get real if you think you are some kind of champion of the feminist movement or you have sparked dialogue about gender roles or relationships. You have not. We have read the comments on your blog, the tweets to you, and each of your negative book reviews on Amazon. We know that you’ve lost your job and many of your so-called “friends” have asked to have their affiliation with your website removed. We know that although you said your birthday party was cancelled for “security reasons” (what?), it was really because the few “friends” that you did have decided to bail than to be associated with crazy. By the way, if you haven’t read the comments on Amazon, I will tell you now that even the reviewers who gave you 5 stars did it ironically and provided hilarious backhanded reviews. You should check them out if you believe that anything you’ve done in the past week is “funny”, because they truly are. At first I felt sorry for you because I thought you overreacted and that eventually you would see the error of your ways, swallow your pride and say “sorry guys, I messed up.” Instead, you’ve lied about increased book sales, positive responses to this situation and your dating life. If this hasn’t humbled you, what will it take? While I think it’s awful that people have attacked your weight, appearance and ethnicity, I have to say that most everything else has been right on. All of your craziness aside, your writing is terrible.

    PS. No woman is “too scared” of vitriolic backlash. We have more self-respect than to act like you.

  4. Personally, I would have sent the screencaps to the boss. Just my two cents.

    Keep on blogging, honey. The world needs more strong women like you.

    Quin has spoken. She’s clearly affirmed. To the detractors I ask: Are you?


    1. I know the texter in question here. He is a friend of mine and I can assure you that nothing she is saying about his understanding of the situation or his knowing it was a joke is correct. You read the same thing the rest of the world read, correct? If she was so upset about said “sexts”, which were much more innocent and reciprocated than she let on, she likely would have said something prior to getting broken up with by a guy who clearly dodged a bullet. Maybe a literal bullet considering her overreaction to two meetings.I thought after reading this that it was insulting for Ms. Pu to think that anybody would be naive or dense enough to believe her back-peddling and her bullcrap, but it appears she’s fooled at least one person.

  5. PR future prospects -Zero
    Current job -Zero
    Current ‘friends’ -currently distancing, what happened to the team on the website.. they have all gone
    Boyfriend propects – Zero, possibly the lowest, outside of the female prison population
    Book prospects – Zero

    Still could be worse, you could be suzy favor hamilton

  6. You’re a complete liar. Just keep telling yourself all of these things, but it won’t make them come true. No guy would ever think you were joking. And if he really did ask for “exclusivity” a couple of days prior, why the hell didn’t you say that? Oh wait, that’s because IT NEVER HAPPENED. And the reason why so many people were convinced that you ruined his life or at least tried to, because there was zero indication in your post that you never followed through with your threat, or that it was an empty threat to begin with, and also your claim that he knew it was an empty threat. So don’t get all pissy that people were criticizing you for that. You give the impression that you did something, it’s not outrageous for people to assume that you actually did it.

    What you did was completely inappropriate. And maybe women do spend hours and hours analyzing over texts and emails and phone calls and what he “really” means, and maybe that’s why their relationships fail miserably. Because they’d rather spend time figuring out what he means rather than *asking*.

    You represent the worst of it, Quin. Just admit that you did an incredibly bitchy thing to someone and then made a private matter public. It’s OK to say you messed up.

  7. It seems like a lot of people take themselves way too seriously.

    Lighten up, people. It probably isn’t about you.

  8. Sorry, QWP, you still lose at Internets. The “walkback” only reinforces how bad your behavior was to begin with. If you do the right thing to begin with, you never have to justify it later.

    Pro tip: for next time this happens, make an “emergency kit”…Chunky Monkey in the freezer, giant ice-cream spoon, folded PJ’s, Kleenex and a DVD in a glass case on the wall next to it with a hammer dangling from a chain. Don’t ask any questions or think…just break the glass in case of emergency. Spend the evening crying into your ice cream rather than trying to publicly make an example of someone who was just not that into you.

    That way, no one but you will see how foolish you’ve acted and you’ll salvage at least a shred of your dignity, at least as far as the public is concerned.

  9. For the record, the Internet turned on you not because you dissed a guy by text, but merely because that incident highlighted your absurd existence and laughable pretense to being a “writer.” For most people, it wasn’t “wow it’s super cold how she dissed that guy by text,” it was “who on Earth is this ridiculous, pretentious, delusional idiot who thinks her piss-poor blog and crap self-published books are interesting?” The post that drew attention to you could have been anything, really. Once people saw it, they looked at your books and all the sneering, boring, shallow, borderline racist crap you say therein. This dust-up had nothing to do with your race, gender, or body issues (though some trolls went there). It was all about class, privilege, ego, the elite schools, modern publishing, the decaying culture of Washington, DC, half a dozen other issues. People saw in you yet another over-pampered product of a supposedly good university that had come out pompous, immature, self-centered, having learned nothing of value, and yet was able to bounce into some cushy condo and live out some faux-Sex and the City delusion on Mom and Dad’s dime while serious people work for a living and actually accomplish things. Your pretense is an insult to those of us who actually have things at stake in this country and who have actually worked to get where we are.

    *That* is the root of this shitstorm, not some kind of “international dialogue” that you started. If you think you’ve somehow provided anything of value to these new readers, you only prove you’re as delusional and vapid as originally thought. And that, Quin, is your immortality: as a case study in deluded narcissism.

  10. Your post did not go viral because it struck a nerve or sparked gender debate. It went viral because it was hilariously psychotic and from a self-absorbed woman with nether the looks or writing talent to match.

    Also, ease up on the thesaurus. Your writing reads like a first year lit student.

  11. In our honest opinion, we fucking hate you.

    1. You are not a woman. You are a fugly deformed camel with protruding dry hemorrhoids from anal rape.
    2. We at Guyism would rather fuck a sloth with two heads than be in the same room as you.
    3. When you breathe it kills the goodness of the world
    4. It’s people like you that push the world to World War III.
    5. If the ugly duckling was a human, the ugly duckling would be your mum. And you would be the ugly ducklings even uglier deformed incest child.
    6. Reese Witherspoon loves making jokes about your enormous fucking chin.
    7. We contacted your friend and he said you need to swallow your pride not just his cum.
    8. Everytime you say anything, a child slits his throat.
    9. You will never sell a book ever again. You will never have sex ever again. You will die an old whore that a blind man would not even pay you 5 cents to feel your fat fucking ass.
    10. Thank you for your kind advertisement of our website.

    Oh and here’s an extra one: Your thighs are oh so fat.

    Yours truly,

    Guyism Anonymous

  12. Sounds like this man was not ready for any sort of commitment which I would commend him for NOT wasting his or her time! That’s good. That means she can focus on her life till the right one comes along. Sounds like you judged a book by it cover way before you read a few pages, but hey, we all do that don’t we so… Basically he said peace. K.

    Her response is kinda childish and spiteful but we’re all adults so grow up! This He said and She said juvenile talk pointing out what others have in their life crap needs too be addressed. (Do some of you people ever hear yourselves talk, Christ!) So her wealth, education and social status spiel came off cuntish and what not. So! This is a generational thing that is immature and comes off as elitist or even snobby. Man, she laid into him and came off crazy…So! Late teens, 20’s and even people in their 30’s sound like that when you get rejected.

    So he was drunk and untimely blew you off… So What! He wont be the last but at least learn from this experience that words hurt just has much as fists do. Just be more aware when your up set and hurt( and YOU KNOW you were hurt because it came to this and whole mess of random people all up in your hot shit, maybe you like that sort of attention but trust me, it gets old) not too come off so pretentious or “chi chi”.

    Just chill.

  13. Please stop posting to her site. Quin is obviously an attention-whore. And maybe a little bit unbalanced as well? I mean who agrees to be in an “exclusive” relationship after a couple dates? And the fact that she completely flipped out after it didn’t go her way only makes her look like a crazy bitch. Stop feeding the beast. You’ve seen the pictures…this one needs a diet.

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