Six more weeks of winter to cause problems for global warming platform

  As if being totally discredited weren’t enough already, Global Whiners may be disappointed to hear that our dear little Punxsutawny Phil somehow communicated to humans that he saw his shadow today, thus prognosticating another six weeks of cold weather. Boo. According to the Punxsatawny Groundhog Club (wait can I join?), Phil has seen his shadown 98 times since 1987, and has not seen it 15 times. There were no records kept for a period of nine years, so we can’t be sure if that was responsible for the melting of Beringia. Continue reading Six more weeks of winter to cause problems for global warming platform

Vagina dentata all over the place

In case you aren’t familiar with the myths of the Vagina dentata (Latin for toothed vagina), which have several iterations across the globe, a few designers have decided to illustrate the fables right on their clothing. It’s basically like Aesop’s for grown fashionistas with plenty of disposable income. Folk tales about Vagina dentata are designed to be cautionary tales warning against sex with strange women, as well as the downfalls of rape. It’s also important to psychoanalysis because it’s just another way men can blame castration anxiety on anyone except themselves. Perhaps bored with the usual winter clothing, it’s refreshing … Continue reading Vagina dentata all over the place

Shiseido Cosmetics America unveils luxurious products for Fall/Winter 2009

Shiseido Cosmetics America is pleased to introduce an impressive array of beauty products for the upcoming festive season. Launching September 2009 and straight off the NYC Fashion Week runways, the trend for the season is flawless skin with a Fall color palette of bright and cheerful shades, inspired by the endless possibilities and shade combinations found in mosaic art. Check out a few of my favorite items, including a little something for the men, created by Dick Page, the artistic director for Shiseido: § Shiseido Makeup Luminizing Satin Eye Color is the first mono-eye shadow compact for Shiseido.  New technology … Continue reading Shiseido Cosmetics America unveils luxurious products for Fall/Winter 2009

Serpentine jewelry snaking around wrists, waists, and wallets

Call it “fall of man” fashions, but the serpent has been making for some seriously lethal new looks for the upcoming season. Back in the times of Adam and Eve, everything was much simpler: all you had to do was pick out your favorite fig leaf and you’d have your outfit for the day. In post-Lapsarian 2009, we are shamelessly flashing this symbolically sinister snake around as a new way to flaunt our status and wealth. With our current economic crisis showing no letting up in the near future, the government has taken to the taxpayer wallet to float unnecessary … Continue reading Serpentine jewelry snaking around wrists, waists, and wallets

Leggings get a few much-needed updates

My dislike for leggings is well-documented. They are not pants, they are not flattering, and they are certainly not glamorous. Enter the newest trend to take over the standard cotton stretch wannabe-pant: sequins. Finally I can get behind these little skintight numbers! These pants are substantiated with more matter, and on top of that, those legging-lining embellishments add the perfect amount of sauciness and luxury. While many designers have put out these shimmery leggings, Alice + Olivia make a very basic pair that is perfect for a night out. In leg-lengthening black with hems that are just a little too long, these leggings … Continue reading Leggings get a few much-needed updates